When I received Adjua Styles new book The Ethereal Hike in the mail, I cracked it open with a mix of excitement and a tiny bit of apprehension. I knew the book would be about her life, family ties, and trying to come out on the other side of all things that can challenge you in life, especially — loss. And as a child of two west indian families, I’ve been working through all of the challenges of having a parent die in the midst of some challenging family dynamics that made everything even harder to take.
I was nervous about what feelings the book might bring up for me. But I plunged in. Well. I got less than 2 chapters in before I abruptly closed the book, placed it on my shelf and walked away from it. It felt like one of those sequences in cartoons where you’re the only one nude, giving a speech in front of a bunch of clothed people. It felt like I was reading something all too familiar, and I felt kinda seen, and kinda naked.
The next day I made some tea and cracked the book again. This time I took deep breaths whenever a chapter felt familiar or heavy. I laughed at the humorous moments. I made it through the book in one evening!
I felt like it was a lot to take in, but a very important read about the life and times of a caribbean, woman, growing up in new york city, making her way with less guidance than she would have liked and less of the motherly connection than she would have wanted with her own parent.
Later she was experiencing the joy of parenthood, the challenges of how to be the parent you want to be, while learning who your children might need you to be, and who you are to yourself–even as life requires your small parts of your identity to grow and change over time.
I think this book is a great read for EVERYONE but also: If you are like me and have Jamaican, Panamanian, Antiguan (or other Caribbean / island roots), OR you grew up in NYC during the 80 Blocks From Tiffanys / Bronx is Burning period in the city’s history, or you have experienced difficult familial relationships, strained parental relationships, challenges in Co-Parenting, challenges over people exhibiting antiblackness against you, mental + physical health challenges, grief, self esteem issues, or even if you just happen to learn well from mistakes of others — get this book.
The next day I went to the nail salon — which is part of me trying to focus on self care & Joy As Resistance. I didn’t have a plan for my nail design so I sat down and chatted with the two Latina women who were going to do them. I said how about pre-valentines nails? Give me the colors of those godawful candyhearts we used to eat.
As we collaborated to create a fun look, I thought about the music I played on #tidal that day asked them to make these nails a love letter to black women’s pop musical joy. I asked for names like: Rihanna (a caribbean struggle-to-joy story in it’s own right), Meg the Stallion (a tall girl’s delight with all the wily lyricism & sexual agency that goes with it), Lizzo (who reminds me of a gorgeous cousin of mine in all her bold confidence), and Normani (who faced down antiblack racism in her group, and has come back with a bang as a solo artist).
Finally the nails were finished. I wriggled my fingers looking at them, and thought about the book I read the night before. And how, like the pop stars on my nails, (& like so many of us women), the author of that book #AdjuaStyles, had gone through a LOT as a black woman, and still kept her head high. From the antiblackness I’ve seen ppl throw at her, to the remaking of her self with different career talents. to surviving loss.
She may not be a pop star, but she was just as much on my mind in that moment. I mentioned the book to the #nailtechs. Do you think I should add her name or is that weird. “Omg how inspiring. ADD HER NAME,” they said. And I’ve been enjoying these pre- Vday, #blackgirlmagic nails for days now. ❤️
I tried to prepare myself for Reggie’s passing in advance but I didn’t prepare enough. My heart aches for his children.
Instead of joining in the public mourning that has become customary on social media, I succumbed to feeling robbed of an inspirational person; someone I dearly wanted to walk a longer road with. I also saw and felt there were people who didn’t honor him in life, trying to social-honor him in death. Realizing my own light was dimming, I signed off and focused on reflecting on my feelings, and letting them wash over me by observing and naming each emotion I was feeling – without judging myself for having any of them.
One of the main emotions that brought stinging tears to my eyes was this feeling of the culture (the people) being cheated. I turned that over in my head. Grief can be so unreasonable. I realized the feeling was because Reggie touched SO MANY people and was pushing (himself and everyone in this thing of ours) forward. I felt a sense of loss for the community and the culture because I couldn’t stop wondering what else might have happened if Reggie were allowed to be on earth for a few more years. Who else would he touch?
But this is life. None of us are here to stay. Not in the physical form, at least.
I imagine it doesn’t help that one of my parents has cancer and, I for a number of reasons, have been keeping that secret largely to myself.
Today was a better day. I cried but meditated on what I might learn from how I felt and what Reggie did for all of us. TTK took time out to comfort me which was dope. As I scrolled through old messages, I saw something Combat said to me that resonated. We had been talking about how we always seem to… see each other at the right place or time. Or be on the same wavelength about certain topics. “Trust the Universe,” Reggie said. “It never lies.”
As I stared at the quote I started to think about how much I missed another O.G. – Schott Free. He’s alive and well, but I’d been rifling through my newly updated phone the previous week, (unsuccessfully) trying to find where I saved his new number. Perhaps Schott crossed my mind again in this moment because I’ve had similar conversations with him. Real shit. O.G. shit. Honest shit. And the loss of Reggie Reminded me of that. Right then, I decided to turn Reggie’s quote into a graphic to inspire myself hereafter.
Suddenly, TTK walked over and handed me his phone, I looked at TTK quizzically. “Who is it?”
Incredulous at how the universe was again, working, I took the phone and had a conversation I’d been needing to have. I’m thankful Schott called. He was right on time. And I mean, Right On Time. We talked for quite a while, and I committed to not falling out of touch. It seems I fall out of touch with my O.G.s (men and women, peers and elders) when they seem far from me or when I assume (wrongly) that they are too busy to lend an ear. I gotta stop doing that. Distance is nothing in this age of digital communication, and half the time, when I am thinking of someone, the universe has them thinking of me too. Finally, we hung up and I regained this feeling of lightness and some optimism. I thought about how Reggie tweeted about wanting to be remembered for his Blackness.
Here are a few things I know.
I’m better at meditating on a loss, finding a lesson in it, and writing about it than I am at “tweeting through it” and that, is ok.
Combat Jack touched my life in ways I’m still working to comprehend.
I can never thank A. King, Jonathan Mena and Combat enough for connecting with me, for believing in me, in TTK, in Hip-Hop, in Black culture.
Combat was into helping our people by sharing knowledge. That included things like accepting my pitch to book a money coach (and friend) Tonya Rapley on the show. They even developed a relationship from there. His ability to make space for things we need to hear, should not be understated. We need more of it.
Combat was also becoming aggressively introspective, based on a belief that therapy, meditation and other forms of wellness practices are what many Black people can benefit from. I shared many similar views in this area and we exchanged wellness tips. Let’s all keep that going.
Part of interrogating his own beliefs involved doing a lot of listening to Black women (in public and private), as well as confronting any ways that he may have contributed to social norms that harm women, or behaviors that tacitly supported homophobia.
He also made space on his show to get real about relationships sometimes. And to talk more about healing and less about the divisive battle of the sexes that we have been fed. This man was pushing himself and challenging us to do the same. Some of these conversations occurred on the show. Some of these conversations were private ones we had.
In a time where macho or man vs. women attitudes can hurt women, hurt men themselves, and lead to behavior that isn’t productive, I felt Reggie spoke for the many men in my life who seek to exercise a balance in their masculinity. One that doesn’t disrespect divine feminine energy, but embraces that, and celebrates healthy masculinity as well. Because I see a need for Black people to heal with each other, I will admit– I despaired yesterday. I was angry at the world. Felt like a voice in that fight was taken. I felt just as angry as when Brooklyn District Attorney Kenneth Thompson died unexpectedly of cancer.
But guess what?
None of us are here to stay.
There are things I told Combat about. Things he encouraged me to follow up on. Actions he expected to see me take. If none of us are here to stay, then I think I’d better get started, in a hurry. In that way, perhaps I can seek to honor the energy he poured into my life.
Peace and love to Reggie’s family. To all of his beautiful children and their mom. To King, Mena, Pete, Dallas, Just Blaze, Benhameen,.. just ALL of his friends and comrades in music, media and private life. We are so proud of you. You have held the mantle up. You are amazing.
To every person he touched in a positive way. To everyone who intends to keep the tenets of his legacy going. May peace and a burning fire to make Reggie proud, be upon you.
What do you get when you mix champagne, green juice and good people? The Juices For Life Brooklyn Anniversary event. For many years I’ve imagined the perfect celebration. It would involve refreshments that delight plant eaters, alcohol imbibers alike. Sometimes I want to sip veggie juice and a glass of bubbly in the same place. Last night, Adjua, Styles P., Angela Yee and DJ Envy made it happen at their Juices For Life Brooklyn Anniversary event.
For me, some of the highlights of the carefully curated evening included, the bubbly, the building, the positive energy from the crew and guests, the dancing, the selfies, the spicy vegan empanadas, and of course, the green juices. I saw people sharing wellness advice with each other. I even discovered a juicing newbie in the crowd, and got him all hype to make drinkin juices a habit.
I’ve given advice to friends, family and some of our favorite emcees on how to eat well. I know how much our collective saying: “each one teach one” matters. I know how fast good info can spread if we take care to share it with our friends, families and people with influence. Good info can save a life.
Similar to the climate during some of Hip Hop’s golden years, it seems there’s a renaissance happening that aims to rekindle the popularity of the edutainment and community-minded spirit of our beloved culture. From Styles and Adjua’s healthy juice talks and candid interview about their daughter’s sexuality, suicide, emotional health, and more–to Envy and Angela holding court on the breakfast club with finance gurus and mental health advocates–it’s clear that this collective crew wants to broaden the minds, hearts and health of hip hoppers, low income earners and other groups of people who could stand to learn more about how food functions as fuel for the body and mind.
There are many reasons why I’m moved by the celebration of this Juices For Life anniversary. Since a young age, I’ve been on a quest to listen to my body and reconnect with whatever my ancestral DNA tells me my body wants to eat. Plants became one of the staples for me. Being raised to give back, and to “tell a friend,” I make it a point to share info on wellness whether it be Byron Hurt’s Soul Food Junkie film, the Hood Health Handbook, my own juice recipes, or more personal essays, like the hip-hop community health reflection I penned after Sean Price was laid to rest.
I had a juice habit already but the first time Lord Finesse took me to the Bronx Juices For Life location, I knew The Lox were onto something special. They were running their business in a tradition I recognized. A tradition similar to the Rastafarian style of serving healthy food while educating the community and providing a place to convene and talk that multiracial, racial justice, solidarity talk on any given afternoon.
They say real recognize real and love is love. Looks like the Juices For Life owners are trying to show us exactly what real love, and good business sense look like when they are combined.
In a new experiential endeavor, the Juices For Life team got together with Sacha Jenkins from Mass Appeal for ‘Show And Prove’.
Hosted by Styles P. And Adjua Styles, the event kicked off with a discussion about how the juice bar chain Juices For Life came to be, and what lifestyle the brand is meant to represent.
“I used to have acne, eczema, a bad attitude and a worse temper!” Styles explained. “Now, I give credit to my wife. She into a plant based diet so now… Well, I still have an attitude, but no eczema, no acne and a much better temper!”
The crowd laughed, but leaned in as Styles continued to share the ways in which believes adding more plants to his diet has helped him manage all of the stress that can accumulate in the body. He encouraged people to get in the habit of learning new plant facts more regularly, and to begin taking with eachother about our emotional, mental and physical health–and the ways in which food can affect all three.
When the time came for questions and discussion, one of the first people to pipe up from the crowd was Bun B. Standing near his wife he raised his hand and said, “I want to drink more juice, but I don’t want to stop drinking liquor. If the juice I’ve been drinking with my liquor is messing me up, should I switch to another?”
More laughter from the room led into an appreciation for the truthfulness in Bun’s question. The answer was yes, try another mixer. For example, cranberry juice may be too acidic for some people, but there are other juices that are less so.
One of the most interesting things about this private event was the way in which honesty and camaraderie took over the room. Styles emphasized his wish to open up conversations about all aspects of wellness, especially in black and brown households. “It’s not just about the juice bar,” he said, encouraging people to juice at home or eat more plants wherever they can fit them in.
When a visitor commented on how juicing must be a great way to lose weight, Adjua Styles interjected, “It’s not just about weight. Adding more plants to your diet is about wellness. If anything, weight loss is just a bonus.”
That is one of the truest things I’ve come to learn about adding plants to my own diet as a young adult. There are plants that literally fight to protect cells against cancer. There are plants that work to reduce nausea. Still more, there are plants that help fortify the immune system or even clear a stuffy nose. There are many reasons to add various plants to what we eat, most of which go way beyond simple weight loss.
Another standout feature of the event was the description of the lifestyle Adjua and Styles P are pushing. Styles described it as wanting to get money, but not wanting to put money over health. He encouraged everyone to share the knowledge they learned from the event, and not to let it end there. I raised my glass of juice to that.
Scroll down to view some photos from the event. You can also right-click on any of the photo quotes above to save them to your phone and share them across social media to inspire others.
What happened when I met up with Shannon “The Cannon” Briggs at a black-owned juice bar in Bed Stuy? Lots of laughs, lots of truths about the hardship of growing up homeless with depression, and–a few pleasant surprises! Watch my interview with the champ and follow me on Twitter and both of us on Instagram @Chevonmedia + @Cannon_Briggs! Be sure to check out Shannon’s website, LetsGoChamp.com, where you can get his signature shirts, hats, hoodies and more.
Ginger root, honey and lemon teas are some of the most popular remedies for the common cold that I see on my social networks. People share various ways to make the drink. The prime ingredients are ginger root (grated), lemon or lime (squeezed) and honey. After boiling the ginger and lemon juice in a small pot of water, strain it into a cup, stir in honey and sip your way to relief.
The last friend I gave this concoction to clutched his chest and said “I feel it working!” The ginger will be the first thing to hit you. It will make you feel very warm. The lemon breaks up mucous, helps you flush out toxins and supports a balanced pH. But what about the honey?
Like many of you, I am not happy when toxins are hidden in foods that most of us deem healthy. It is frustrating trying to keep up with what’s in what! However, I’m your buddy on this journey. It seems the medicinal properties of honey are more acutely felt if the honey is raw. Raw honey has not been processed with heat. It is thought to have increased potency. Raw honey is marked by a thicker, more opaque consistency than the golden, (almost runny) honey we typically see on store shelves. I now use raw honey for wellness recipes. I get the full impact.